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Stories & reflections

Thank you for Sharing!

Below is a picture my friend Karen Franca shared with me shortly after Joel's death. Just the picture alone is enough to make me emotional. Add to it the fact that I knew EXACTLY what I was thinking when that picture was taken. This picture was taken at the memorial service of Karen's son. Nick Franca died at the age of 21 after a long struggle with cancer. Another young and beautiful soul taken way too early. And in that moment when I stood at Nick's service, holding on to Joel and him embracing me, I thought of nothing worse than losing a child. I thought of the Franca's and them having to deal with unimaginable pain. My heart ached for everyone. In my mind I was certain that as a parent I could never cope with such a situation. "Please God let this never happen to us". My knuckles white from holding on to him so tight. And precious Joel... He's not holding on. He's holding me. With such a caring love. He's comforting me. Not just at that moment but now. It gives me a sense of eternal comfort. It's how I image Joel feeling in the Lord's presence right now. Oh I miss him so much.

Karen found the strength to send me this picture not long after Joel’s passing. Did it send me into a tailspin? Yes. Was it worth it? Without a doubt. God wanted me to have that picture. It was a blessing in the moment when the picture was taken and a blessing that Karen had the courage to share it.

Sometimes people are reserved in sharing with us Joel stories, pictures, or other fond memories.

They ask themselves, “Do I want to send this to the Byrne family? What if it makes them upset?” Yes absolutely. Absolutely share. I’d rather you error on the side of sharing. Even at the risk of it sending me into a tailspin. There is no right answer on how to get through this or how to help someone who’s in this.

When you have something you consider sharing, please do. Email, social media, text, PM, whatever.

It’s impossible to explain how difficult this reality is. People say to me, “I can’t imagine what you are going through”. Honestly either can I. But every little bit helps. Thank you for all your love and support. For every piece of trash you pick up, mouth you feed, happiness you create, and goodness you shine in honor of Joel, We couldn’t get through this without you. Thank you.

Love to you all.

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11 comments

  1. Thanks for sharing it’s painful to see those pictures but Joel will never leave us. Dad and I miss him so much. I still can’t believe he’s gone. 😢😢🙏🙏💔

    Reply

  2. Don, this is so beautiful and searing. I think of you all the time! Even though it’s been decades since college, I think about you and your family all the time. The picture is beautiful and your words are so powerful.
    Love, Alexis

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  3. The beauty that can live in parallel to immense pain is remarkable—and, at times, difficult to accept. Logically, they should be mutually exclusive. Yet, they appear in so, so many ways. You and your family are never far from my heart.

    Thank you for bringing us all in on both the beauty & the heartache. It takes so much strength.

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  4. This is one of the saddest and most beautiful posts I’ve ever seen. Your memory of the moment, this intense picture and the way it sadly ties in to your story is so moving. Think of you and your family often my friend. Only wish I had known your remarkable son.

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  5. Don, Monica, Julia and Jane we share your pain. There isn’t a day goes by that dad and I don’t think of Joel and shed a tear or two. We love ❤️ you all so much. As a grandparent we have to carry the burden of not only Joel passing but the pain your family must be going through. I once said that the worst thing that could happen to us is to loose a grand child. Please know we are here for you. All our love. Mom and Dad. 🙏🙏💔💔😢😢

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  6. The beauty of life is to reconnect with an old friend and that happened today! I was overjoyed to hear about Joel and your entire family. Seems like yesterday that you were playing at the Meadowhill Pool — hugs and love abound you. xoxo teri

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  7. Beautifully written Don! I think of Joel, you, Monica,Julia and Jane daily. You are always in my prayers. Sending love to all…Corry

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  8. Eternal Comfort….our greatest suffering is always our greatest teacher and our greatest love… thank you for being open and vulnerable in sharing this. This is such a beautiful icon of Fatherhood & Love in the eternal.

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  9. Sadly, us Greenfields only met Joel once. He sold us a coupon card for a Robinson fundraiser. We still have the card. Though we never actually used it for the discounts, it is valued and treasured. Without knowing Joel, his spirit and light still touches us DAILY. He is in Sam’s nightly prayers. We ask that he watch over her. His mass card sits in my car cup holder…a daily reminder to be more patient and kind. A magnet with his picture is in our kitchen…constantly pushing me to be better about recycling and care more about our planet. A young man we didn’t know has such a deep impact on us. We are grateful for Joel and for your family sharing him with us. We will meet him again, this time as good friends ❤️

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